I live. And of course am posting long after I said I would... but no lives by this so that is fine. What have I been doing? I just finished celebrating/mourning a full year passing since college and as I sit here propped up in bed hung over as hell I am actively pondering how I managed to do this 3 to 5 times a week in college, have a job, go to class, and find a career after school. Now doing laundry after a day of work is straining... okay that is a little exaggerated but you get my point.
So a couple people asked what I meant with my family, no I did not come out to them or anything like that. My parents actually split up, well more like my mom replaced our family out of no where last summer and at points I was the only person everyone in my family has been talking to. Last summer went awesome college grad with my entire family, and by Labor Day my mom lived with a new family, and my sister was melting down at college and my Dad was a shell of himself. Pros that have come out of this situation: My dad is my best friend and him and I have grown much closer, my sister and I are also much closer. We are a couple years apart and pretty different, she rolled with the smart crowd in high school (read nerd, she took an extra AP math class her senior year), I rolled with a more social activity centered group (read drinking every weekend). But since this shit storm landed on our heads I have really taken on the big bro responsibility of looking out for her. This has included telling both my parents they were being fucking idiots at time.
Anyways we are moving on and I just have to accept that things will not be the same. I pray every night for god to grant me the strength to change the things I can, and accept the things I can't. The hardest thing to deal with about all this was having this relationship you think is perfect and that I have spent most of my life admiring and wanting to emulate when I settle down come crashing down. More than that it was the disappointment I felt and still feel about how my parents acted, I have heard people say that as parents the hardest thing is when kids disappoint you, not anger you, and after this year I know that to be true. No one had really ever disappointed me in such a grand fashion before.
So anyways I guess I will post a couple more posts on here. I didn't think I had much left to say but just getting that out was great. I have talked about it with people and I could not have made it through this year with out my GF or a couple other people, but don't forget bro, Kelly Clarkson has taught us that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
Alright time for me to shower and head to brunch (read drunch, this guy needs a bloody mary). Hope everyone has an awesome day, whenever you guys read this. I would say when I am going to post next, but we all know that has no standing with me.
No music or pictures today, just my ramblings.
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Saturday, March 31, 2012
5 months. No, that can't be right...
It has been 5 months since I have been on here and for that I apologize for the pure and simple of fact that I gave no explanation of my disappearance. Not that I really think anyone reads this but I like to think that once upon a time someone did. (ego inflation) Anyways my life is pretty much where I left it last time I was here, my family is in shambles and I am holding it together with weekend trips and scotch tape. My personal life if great, the job is going really well and I am already up for another promotion which would mean maybe even more travel. I hope everyone out there in blog world is doing well. I plan on writing a post or two tomorrow because I will be bored and have internet access and have some shit on my mind.
Hope everyone out there is getting laid and staying safe.
Guy Next Door.
Just like back in the day. Here is a good tune to listen to while you ponder what fuck I did for 5 months, or you don't ponder that and just go on with your life. Either way, listen to the song.
Hope everyone out there is getting laid and staying safe.
Guy Next Door.
Just like back in the day. Here is a good tune to listen to while you ponder what fuck I did for 5 months, or you don't ponder that and just go on with your life. Either way, listen to the song.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Quick to Judge
Sometimes I forget about this side of me. Not the bisexual side, because that really isn't a side of me, it is just part of who I am. But the blogger side, I forget I have his online diary of sorts and that through this I have met some pretty awesome people. I am going somewhere with this, I promise.
This weekend I was doing this online survey, to get some free itunes money. (Not a huge scam, it works, so only a small scam) Anyways, one of the questions was do you have any friends you have met online but never in person. I, of course, instantly hit no and think about all those losers who play WOW in their mom's basement. But about 20 seconds into my judgement I begin to think... wait... I am that kind of person. I have a few people I talk to every once and a while and check in on and see how they are doing. So that right there I would say qualifies me to answer that question. BUT on top of that, one my closest friends, I have never met. RJ and I talk almost every day about whatever and he keeps me sane and I like to think me likewise. Mostly we just give each other shit and talk about work and other BS, but this guy has helped me through some serious shit and he is the only person I talk to about everything. So I clearly qualify for the yes answer on that question, and I scrolled back up and changed my answer.
So, along with my new life direction, looking at the positive and good in life (its pretty easy to do today since I got a raise) I also want to try to judge less. Something I am pretty bad at. But this post is not about that, this is about how I have online friends, and one online best friend. I am talking to him right now in fact. And in a running tradition I am going to share with you guys a song I have stuck in my head that I really like, for which RJ would call me a little girl. But hey, I am okay with that. judge me all you want, I'll just be singing this while I get ready to go out with my bros for dinner and drinks.
This weekend I was doing this online survey, to get some free itunes money. (Not a huge scam, it works, so only a small scam) Anyways, one of the questions was do you have any friends you have met online but never in person. I, of course, instantly hit no and think about all those losers who play WOW in their mom's basement. But about 20 seconds into my judgement I begin to think... wait... I am that kind of person. I have a few people I talk to every once and a while and check in on and see how they are doing. So that right there I would say qualifies me to answer that question. BUT on top of that, one my closest friends, I have never met. RJ and I talk almost every day about whatever and he keeps me sane and I like to think me likewise. Mostly we just give each other shit and talk about work and other BS, but this guy has helped me through some serious shit and he is the only person I talk to about everything. So I clearly qualify for the yes answer on that question, and I scrolled back up and changed my answer.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Hipsters
I'm going through the motions of sunday night and wanted to post about my night last night. I didn't have jack shit planned and last min I texted a girl who lives in town to see if she was up to anything. She invited me out with her work friends and so I went over to her place to pregame, then we went to an actual pregame and then we took a cab ride (insert 20 min convo with driver about lap dances) and we ended up in one of the bar districts.
Now this bar district has a huge variety of places and we started at a chill sports bar just drinking and playing music and having a good time and I am getting to know her coworkers and their friends and having a good time. In the process of this I have two shots bought for me, one by one of the girls we are there with who as the night goes on becomes obviously infatuated with me... had to throw the girlfriend card more than once and by the end of the night all she could say was if only you were single.... Not going to happen, she was nice but I'm in it to win it now. And the second shot was from a rather short gay friend of hers. Who also was "warm for my form". This was the first time a guy had ever bought me a drink to hit on me (as far as I know) and I really don't care and it isn't like the guy was all over me trying to make me uncomfortable but he told my friend he was into me and she informed him I would not be returning the feelings. Not even behind closed doors would this guy have been my type with his skinny jeans and being much shorter than me, but a shot is a shot.
So after about an hour or so of getting good and drunk we shifted bars and wound up at this hipster bar where they had an outside dance venue and we just went out in the center of this huge group of hippies and hipsters and drank PBR and danced with them. This was the kind of music that was just beats in the background that shifted from song to song without there ever being a lyric. I honestly have not had that much fun in along time so after spending all our cash at the bar and dancing like a bunch of white fools me and two of the girls called it a night and split a cab home just before bar close.
I am going to have to go back to that bar, but you have to be in the right mood (hammered) to really enjoy it as a non hipster. I was definitely one of the only people who had showered twice that day in the bar but they really like to get down. In honor of those dirty hipsters who know how to get down and don't really care what anyone thinks here is a hipster jam. (At least that is what this website says, I am not a hipster so I don't really know)
In other news my sister and mother are speaking again and my dad is doing somewhat better. Im getting ready to set up an appt to talk to someone because I have a lot of pent up anger about the whole thing and I would rather not go home for the holidays and explode at my mother in front of the grandparents.
Now this bar district has a huge variety of places and we started at a chill sports bar just drinking and playing music and having a good time and I am getting to know her coworkers and their friends and having a good time. In the process of this I have two shots bought for me, one by one of the girls we are there with who as the night goes on becomes obviously infatuated with me... had to throw the girlfriend card more than once and by the end of the night all she could say was if only you were single.... Not going to happen, she was nice but I'm in it to win it now. And the second shot was from a rather short gay friend of hers. Who also was "warm for my form". This was the first time a guy had ever bought me a drink to hit on me (as far as I know) and I really don't care and it isn't like the guy was all over me trying to make me uncomfortable but he told my friend he was into me and she informed him I would not be returning the feelings. Not even behind closed doors would this guy have been my type with his skinny jeans and being much shorter than me, but a shot is a shot.
So after about an hour or so of getting good and drunk we shifted bars and wound up at this hipster bar where they had an outside dance venue and we just went out in the center of this huge group of hippies and hipsters and drank PBR and danced with them. This was the kind of music that was just beats in the background that shifted from song to song without there ever being a lyric. I honestly have not had that much fun in along time so after spending all our cash at the bar and dancing like a bunch of white fools me and two of the girls called it a night and split a cab home just before bar close.
In other news my sister and mother are speaking again and my dad is doing somewhat better. Im getting ready to set up an appt to talk to someone because I have a lot of pent up anger about the whole thing and I would rather not go home for the holidays and explode at my mother in front of the grandparents.
Monday, October 3, 2011
A little cleaning house
So I just spent the night doing all the shit I should have done last night. Cleaning, went on a run, and did a little work. I also turned on the TV and watched a little bit of Playboy Club. Not a huge fan, I love Mad Men and while it took a while for Network Television to catch up to the retro trend, I really would have thought that something better than Pan Am and Playboy Club would have come from it. I don't really watch much TV anyways so I was never going to become a regular viewer but it is too bad more great shows didn't come out of this.
In the theme of cleaning house, I cleaned up the blogs I read. I got rid of some of the guys who called it quits and added a couple. My favorite new blog is Bi PNW Dude. I think it is in part because I envy the part of the country he lives in, but I really like reading his blog (I don't think I have told him that, but I do) and he seems like a really chill normal guy. Which is something I think we all strive for, normalcy.
I also added Pathologically Confused, reading about being a Med resident has been sweet and I really like his blog as well. Wish I had updated this a while ago. There are a ton of sweet blogs out there so if you are like me and stumbled into the blog world while looking for porn, stay for a while and read a little bit about one these guys. They are way more interesting than I am.
For me, the appeal of these guys is that they are a little older, more established in life. I am one of those people always looking for the next thing. Which is good in the sense that I am always working towards something but I have to constantly remind myself to stop and enjoy the shit around me. Which I do, sometimes a little too much, but I think I have a pretty good balance.
Alright. two posts in one day is a lot for me. Even though they really are not about much. Just me going off about random shit. But even while writing this my outlook has gone off 4 times for work at 11, people need to get a life (I say, as I go to check it). Well me and my dying house plants are signing off for the night. Right now I am listening to Pumped Up Kicks by Foster the People.... I wasn't gonna put it on here, but why not.
In the theme of cleaning house, I cleaned up the blogs I read. I got rid of some of the guys who called it quits and added a couple. My favorite new blog is Bi PNW Dude. I think it is in part because I envy the part of the country he lives in, but I really like reading his blog (I don't think I have told him that, but I do) and he seems like a really chill normal guy. Which is something I think we all strive for, normalcy.
I also added Pathologically Confused, reading about being a Med resident has been sweet and I really like his blog as well. Wish I had updated this a while ago. There are a ton of sweet blogs out there so if you are like me and stumbled into the blog world while looking for porn, stay for a while and read a little bit about one these guys. They are way more interesting than I am.
For me, the appeal of these guys is that they are a little older, more established in life. I am one of those people always looking for the next thing. Which is good in the sense that I am always working towards something but I have to constantly remind myself to stop and enjoy the shit around me. Which I do, sometimes a little too much, but I think I have a pretty good balance.
Sunday Night Slowdown
Every Sunday night I do the same thing. I putter around the apartment either cleaning up or packing depending on the week and really get hardly anything done at all. During this time I drink more beer than someone who is alone should and listen to whatever music I discovered on Pandora that week. This is one of my favorites from this week.
And then eventually I get into bed with my lap top and read some of the wrap up about college football that weekend and start to realize that I have stayed up entirely too late to be functional at work tomorrow. To make matters worse I usually don't go to sleep then either. I just moan about it in my head. At some point in here there is a phone conversation with the gf, where we talking about what we did today and all that boring shit.
Then finally when I am ready to pass out I pull up Post Secret and look over the new secrets for the week. There is something about that website and the honesty that it contains that draws me in. I read every secret, usually twice, and then I am finally ready for bed. I know some other guys have talked about post secret before and I believe I have mentioned it as well, but I am really blown away by some of the stuff on there, it touches every human emotion and can sometimes expose things I didn't know were still bothering me. A couple years ago I went to one of the events and it was awesome to be there looking at secrets in person and seeing how much effort people put into exposing their secrets to the public. This blog is kind of like my postsecret but there are still things I wouldn't write on here but may one day send in as a postcard.
Anyways, I really enjoy that website and the release it gives me. Other things I am enjoying right now, fall weather, pumpkin beer, and the fact that Nebraska thought they would win the Big Ten their first year in the conference and they got put in their place this weekend. My thoughts aside on the changing landscape of college sports, I love to see someone put in their place.
Keep on, keeping on guys.
Then finally when I am ready to pass out I pull up Post Secret and look over the new secrets for the week. There is something about that website and the honesty that it contains that draws me in. I read every secret, usually twice, and then I am finally ready for bed. I know some other guys have talked about post secret before and I believe I have mentioned it as well, but I am really blown away by some of the stuff on there, it touches every human emotion and can sometimes expose things I didn't know were still bothering me. A couple years ago I went to one of the events and it was awesome to be there looking at secrets in person and seeing how much effort people put into exposing their secrets to the public. This blog is kind of like my postsecret but there are still things I wouldn't write on here but may one day send in as a postcard.
Anyways, I really enjoy that website and the release it gives me. Other things I am enjoying right now, fall weather, pumpkin beer, and the fact that Nebraska thought they would win the Big Ten their first year in the conference and they got put in their place this weekend. My thoughts aside on the changing landscape of college sports, I love to see someone put in their place.
Keep on, keeping on guys.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Out with the old
So instead of finishing my posts I decided to write a new one first. As I have said, my life has changed a lot over the course of this summer but I think I am adapting pretty well. But I have decided to stop focusing on the maturity that has been thrust upon me by the situations I find myself in and focus on enjoying the things around me. My new friends in this new city, my ability to just take off for a weekend and do something, and my ability to stay relatively sane.
Luckily for me I have had some great support from multiple areas of my life. My new friends I started with at work and some of the people on my team, a couple of my best friends from the blog world and real world, and a little bit of alcohol never hurt. Okay there was a lot of drinking and more tears than I care to admit, but I am only human. And moving forward things will be different.
Anyways what I want to get out of this post is that I have adapted to my new surroundings and still have a lot to say on here, I just had to get used to everything this summer. Now that those days are over and I am wearing sweaters to work (because I am too lazy to iron) I can focus on enjoying the fall, college football, and this new chapter of my life. And I think my dick will be enjoying this time of my life too, soo look out for those updates.
PS. To the reader who called me out today. Don't worry, no more posts about how I am not writing.
Here is a song to end of summer fellas. I hope you all take the end of summer as well as I am.
Luckily for me I have had some great support from multiple areas of my life. My new friends I started with at work and some of the people on my team, a couple of my best friends from the blog world and real world, and a little bit of alcohol never hurt. Okay there was a lot of drinking and more tears than I care to admit, but I am only human. And moving forward things will be different.
Anyways what I want to get out of this post is that I have adapted to my new surroundings and still have a lot to say on here, I just had to get used to everything this summer. Now that those days are over and I am wearing sweaters to work (because I am too lazy to iron) I can focus on enjoying the fall, college football, and this new chapter of my life. And I think my dick will be enjoying this time of my life too, soo look out for those updates.
PS. To the reader who called me out today. Don't worry, no more posts about how I am not writing.
Here is a song to end of summer fellas. I hope you all take the end of summer as well as I am.
Unfinished business
I just counted, I have 8 unfinished posts in here. I suck at this. I am gonna finish at least on, if not two after work today. Last night I stayed late at work and then came home and did more work. I now regret bitching about my workload in college. I would go back in a heart beat. But I am still loving living alone and the world of being an adult but I am ready for a few months of nothing changing. From may to August so many things in my life changed, from where I live, my friends, my daily routine, and my parents signed their separation a few weeks ago and I am the only one speaking to my mom right now so things are strained to say the least.
I think back to graduation and I am slightly amazed at how my life got here so fast. Anyways I will update this afternoon, not that anyone really reads this.
I think back to graduation and I am slightly amazed at how my life got here so fast. Anyways I will update this afternoon, not that anyone really reads this.
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