Sunday, May 20, 2012

7 drafts, but almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

I live. And of course am posting long after I said I would... but no lives by this so that is fine. What have I been doing? I just finished celebrating/mourning a full year passing since college and as I sit here propped up in bed hung over as hell I am actively pondering how I managed to do this 3 to 5 times a week in college, have a job, go to class, and find a career after school. Now doing laundry after a day of work is straining... okay that is a little exaggerated but you get my point.

So a couple people asked what I meant with my family, no I did not come out to them or anything like that. My parents actually split up, well more like my mom replaced our family out of no where last summer and at points I was the only person everyone in my family has been talking to.  Last summer went awesome college grad with my entire family, and by Labor Day my mom lived with a new family, and my sister was melting down at college and my Dad was a shell of himself. Pros that have come out of this situation: My dad is my best friend and him and I have grown much closer, my sister and I are also much closer. We are a couple years apart and pretty different, she rolled with the smart crowd in high school (read nerd, she took an extra AP math class her senior year), I rolled with a more social activity centered group (read drinking every weekend). But since this shit storm landed on our heads I have really taken on the big bro responsibility of looking out for her. This has included telling both my parents they were being fucking idiots at time. 

Anyways we are moving on and I just have to accept that things will not be the same. I pray every night for god to grant me the strength to change the things I can, and accept the things I can't. The hardest thing to deal with about all this was having this relationship you think is perfect and that I have spent most of my life admiring and wanting to emulate when I settle down come crashing down. More than that it was the disappointment I felt and still feel about how my parents acted, I have heard people say that as parents the hardest thing is when kids disappoint you, not anger you, and after this year I know that to be true. No one had really ever disappointed me in such a grand fashion before.

So anyways I guess I will post a couple more posts on here. I didn't think I had much left to say but just getting that out was great. I have talked about it with people and I could not have made it through this year with out my GF or a couple other people, but don't forget bro, Kelly Clarkson has taught us that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Alright time for me to shower and head to brunch (read drunch, this guy needs a bloody mary). Hope everyone has an awesome day, whenever you guys read this. I would say when I am going to post next, but we all know that has no standing with me. 

No music or pictures today, just my ramblings.