Lunch with Trevor was awesome, after the initial moments of I could be meeting a total creeper on the street (it was a very public area in a large city so I thought I was covered) we did the awkward hellos and walked towards a lunch spot. Things started to click right away and we shot the shit about the NFL and sports, where he goes skiing since we had initially talked about that. Once we got to a lunch spot we started talking and got to know each other more. I talked to him about recent life stuff and then started to grill him on his life. He is older, (mid 30s) and has the interesting situation where his roommate is his secret buddy. I don't really know if he would use the term boyfriend so I won't here but they seem to be pretty exclusive and he seems happy but he was giving me crap for my blog not giving him the answers on what to do. We are in different spots in life but could relate so much on the struggles on being Bi, what that means, and where we go from here. It was one of the most open and honest discussions I have had in my life. I had just met this guy, we could talk and I had nothing to guard myself from him on and he felt the same way. We could be open and honest about our feelings and analyze the events of our life without trying to impress each other or be guarded. Having a fresh open and honest conversation was pretty awesome and we message now back and forth some and I am sure if we get the chance will meet up again but for now I am happy to have gained another friend out of this. Being able to talk to someone you have this in common with is helpful.
A couple of the things we talked about:
1. This is an itch that will not go away, I am bi-sexual, I will not become heterosexual, I can commit to a hetero relationship, but this is a part of me (and him) and no matter what we choose in life we have to work within these parameters.
2. We have to be realistic and fair to the other people in our life. I know I want a life with Liz and I owe her the respect of giving my all in that life.
3. Just talking about shit helps. We both said we have not had that open a conversation in our lives and there are few people who know everything about me on earth, Trevor is on his way to being one of them.
4. Keep your head up. Life gets tricky and emotions can sneak up but keep shit in a positive light, it does wonders for you.
And Trevor.... you know you have one foot in the door and one outside. In your journey to figure out where you are going to stand, I might recommend a blog... It has really helped me. :)
As always, drop me a line and say hello maybe I'll write a post about our lunch someday,