Just a quick update as I am just stopping in for some lunch before I head out again for the day, but I wanted to blog more as my big life decisions get closer. In that area GF2 and I have been all over the place this week. We have had some trust issues, her trusting me, after how she found out and then after I wasn't completely forthcoming about a friendship I have, but now I have been and we are working on it. But on monday a bunch of people were hanging out and she just got really upset and pissy with me and I didn't know exactly what was bothering her, but I figured it out eventually and then we talked about it and she told me it was the trust issue that got her upset. This is after her telling me she could see herself spending the rest of her life with me this past weekend and last night we went out and talked about out ideas about a timeline for engagement, marriage, and kids. This was a pretty general conversation but at 22 it kind of threw me for a loop. Anyways I am working on our future and as I head out for final round interviews in the next few weeks I will be using the drive time to sort shit out in my head.
Okay what has really been bothering me is an e-mail from a lady I work with on campus. I help her out with events around campus and I had volunteered to help with one next week, told I wasn't needed and then in the end they did need me. But to tell me they need me this lady sent me the longest back handed complement e-mail I have ever gotten. Telling me I did great last time I helped out but here are four or seven things you did that were not so good and I won't be there this time so I have assigned you a baby sitter. Anyways I can't help out cause I have an interview and will be out of town, but this bitch is only 8 months older than me and pretty much told me she needs my help but lsat time I helped I sucked. Well clearly I don't suck too much because Ill be working for a corporation making almost double what she does as administrative assistant for a college. Sorry I am being such a dick here, but I have gone out of my way to help her and her office and I didn't need her shit.
Anyways. Song time. If anyone listens to these... Well I don't really care cause this is for me. (The music that is) and this is Yellowcard's new song. I loved these guys when I was younger and I don't mind this song (okay that is a lie, a friend gave it to me and I listened to it on repeat for an hour or so). Anyways I'll write again tomorrow and I should be nice and hung over after a night out for St. Patty's day. Have a good one guys.
Sorry, but I'm a little rusty on a few facts. You've decided that you're bi, not gay, right? And GF2 knows your complete history with guys?
ReplyDeleteI once hooked up with a guy who looked like a shorter version of yellowcard's lead singer...it was pretty sweet.
ReplyDeleteTwolives: No problem, and I probably have not been super clear. But I am Bi. That I am sure of, i enjoy both sexes. GF2 knows about Jake/BF1 and about one other guy for sure and knows I have fooled around with both sexes but she doesn't ask too many questions except for about Jake once she found out because I fell for GF2 at the end of Jake and I's relationship. So she knows somewhat but doesn't know my complete history and as for my infidelity over breaks and all that, she doesn't know about that but I am much more committed to our relationship now and that is something I am working.
ReplyDeleteRj: Good Work. Even though I am not one for bleached hair. Maybe he wasn't rocking that look though.
GDN - Even if it's fun to plan and dream about the future, I think it's a mistake to talk about marriage and kids - at all - with GF2. At least, right now.
ReplyDeleteThe problem is that you're essentially promising to propose and promising a life-long commitment to her. While she might be THE one (and the ONLY one) and you might be very happy with the idea of committing to her, you're painting yourself into a corner at age 22. If there ever comes a day when you have second thoughts then you've put yourself in a very awkward position.
You should ask yourself what the upside is to making those promises.
The only advantage I can see is that you are cementing her commitment to you. If you feel secure about that already, then there's nothing to be gained by fully committing yourself at this age.
The next five years of your life are extremely important. Your primary focus right now should be on finding a career that you truly love. A marital commitment (and certainly a kid) at this age can force you to accept an unfulfilling job (that becomes an unfulfilling career) just because you need the money. That's another corner you don't want to paint yourself into.
I suggest that you take a few deep breaths, chill out when it comes to making commitments, and focus on what matters right now.
BTW - I was engaged at 20 and married at 23. I'm very familiar with happy dreams and good intentions that did not turn out as expected.
I agree with TwoLives man, you need to just chill out and not worry about so much stuff. Things always work out in the end if you let them.
ReplyDelete