Post number 2 of the day, and probably the last. I read a post on either TFM (Total Frat Move) or PGP (Post Grad Problems) about working from starbucks and I was laughing out loud when I read it over Christmas and I realized I fit the mold. I am sitting here drinking my overpriced cup of coffee in my Columbia boots, flannel shirt and my retro watch listening to my music, which I think is cooler than all the music the other people in here are doing, and I am writing a blog post. I hate myself but at the same time find it pretty funny and am enjoying my morning of reading the news and posting on here from the coffee shop. We all deserve a break sometimes.
This post is about getting a massage so for music I am going with ambient background music like you would hear in a massage room. It is by Explosions in the Sky and is called Your Hand in Mine. Hope you enjoy it, if you don't I really don't care.
So the follow up refers to my massage. I went back yesterday. I called the day before when I decided to kick off vacation with a massage after work. (another guy dressed as a hipster but he had a cardigan on just stared me down... apparently I am in his starbucks, my b dude) I knew I was scheduled with a different guy this time but since I was going right from work there was no way I was going to be able to clean my gun before hand just to help with not throwing wood in the middle of it. I wasn't sure if I wanted the help or not but I didn't want to be tenting up the whole time.
Anyways different guy so I really don't know what to expect, this place only has male staff which seems slightly odd but whatever. So I go in get down to my birthday suit and then lay down. He works my back over and legs and things are fine. Now comes the time to roll over and things are going fine. I will say this guy was pretty hairy and he did some things where he rubbed his entire arm on my back and neck, I can't decide if I liked it or not... still on the fence. Anyways I flip over and tense up, because I get nervous. At times he is almost yelling at me to relax... not helping bro. Anyways he does the normal stuff, legs and arms and hands, no abnormal brushing or anything. And then it is over...
So no funny business this time... But I am considering paying full price at that place its not as expensive as others but that probably won't happen. I enjoy the finer things in life but I need to live within my means for a while.
I have a lot to write about but I am not ready to flesh all of that out, it has been a rough week for me. I left the blog feeling pretty good after a great night with friends on Friday. From there things went downhill and the lady and I are in an interesting spot right now. I was talking to MadMenMD and he told me to really flesh out how I am feeling about her for you guys but I have other stuff on my mind right now.
First. Enjoy this cover. I stumbled upon it, only 4,000 hits but I love Daft Punk and this is a pretty great version.
Another interjection - I was talking with Brotastic this week and we both agreed it is incredibly hard to come back to a post after you start it but don't finish in the first sitting. I have had more free time than usual this week but couldn't bring myself to finish my post so here I am now a week later finally finishing this.
So when I started this post I was pissed at my Mom because it had been 2 weeks since I had talked to her and I had reached out twice to try and get her to contact me, I just wanted to talk to my mom. I had personal stuff going on and I wanted her to want to talk to me. She was busy dealing with her own personal mess, which she has made for herself recently, and I guess she was just too caught up in all of it to talk. It is hard for me to not be mad at her because I don't agree with the decisions she has been making recently. But it is her life and I just go back to the phrase that got me through my parents divorce initially, the serenity prayer.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Well since then we have spoken a couple times but she isn't there and all the way. I guess I just miss my mom and how she used to be. My Dad too, after a big family gathering in January that my dad flew out to the heartland for I saw some cousins a few weeks later and the first thing they said was that they were concerned about my dad, His whole demeanor has changed... I was upset by that but I guess I knew that already, but no one in the family had pointed it out. Anyways this has happened to my mom but on a more drastic level, I don't recognize it.
Anyways I don't know what I am saying here really except getting my feelings out. Expect a couple posts today because I have time to kill waiting for my vacation to start and I am posted up in starbucks.
I am currently pregaming for a night out. I have to hit up a couple different parties across town tonight but I will get to see a lot of different people which is nice when you are in town once a month. Had a great week in a city I hadn't ever spend a significant amount of time in.
Anyways nothing really I want to flesh out right now, my biggest issue at hand is that I have a bunch of booze in my apartment but none of it mixes with Coke, so tequila on ice is how I am pregaming this night and since I am starting at 6:30 shit is going to get weird tonight. In the end, I want the night to get weird, these are the best nights out there.
As for tune for tonight... I am just going to repost this song from a couple posts ago. My friends and I "joke" about wanting to do coke and go rage at a club. Its somewhat serious but somewhat a joke. Who knows, maybe one day while I am young and don't have kids.
Last note: This morning I woke up naked in bed, and retraced my clothes throughout my apartment, with the sweater I wore last night being outside of my apartment in the hallway... I hope everyone has has just as classy of a weekend.
Made a decision today... I am going back to the massage guy I talked about in this post. I got a massage from someone else today and during it my mind wandered to how good a massage that was and how great that release felt at the end. Laying there eyes closed, twitching, having him towel off the mess he just made of me.... Anyways I got boned up and had to start thinking about the spreadsheet I spent a good part of my afternoon "analyzing." That saved me the embarrassment right then. I think I will go in a few weeks post my big party weekend with my friends from college... let him work the booze out of my muscles.
Nothing else new to report but I am really working on this whole being bisexual thing. Its a challenge.
As for a song today... Forest Gump by Frank Ocean. I was a behind the 8 ball on this but after watching him at The Grammys and learning more about his back story I like his story and some of his music. I have heard about him on some other blogs and stuff. But anyways clearly this massage guy has been running on my mind... not outside the massage but in that context he has.
I am off to some friends for dinner, drinks and doing laundry... Happy Fat Tuesday everybody!
I love this song, the original and also this cover. I just discovered these guys thanks to spotify radio. (Does pandora know I have moved on? I feel a little guilty.) Anyways enjoy while you read some more ramblings from the guy next door.
Anyways not too much to say today... I do have shit going on in my life but I don't want to post about it right now. I am just looking forward to my first time on the slopes this year. Coming up in a couple weeks. I barely ever get to go skiing anymore, I act like I used to live at a mountain, but I do I wish I could go more. I wish a lot of things right now.... I wish I had more money, I wish my taxes (and my laundry, for that matter) would do themselves, I wish I wasn't bi but most of all I wish I had gotten the job I applied for that would have let me move.... but many different factors weighed and I am staying put in my job that allows me to do anything but stay put. This is already my 23rd night for the year in a hotel, that is about half the time and this has been my "slow month."
Alright, enough bitching. I had a jumbo whiskey coke and now I'm ready for bed.
Warning: This post will be a little selfish, but also much more open. Deal with it Bro. Also do not get used to me posting 3 days in a row, I will be posting more but not everyday. I am no Bi Like Me, I don't know how that guy does it.
So to start us off I have a song. Here it is. Listen to it, because I am going to talk about it.
This song represents a ton of shit to me and I am not going to get into the over analysis of it too much but the video is also pretty interesting. To me this is something I would dance to at a bar hammered out of my mind, bumping and grinding on the dance floor or where ever I may be. It also takes me back to college and for some reason I associate it with a lot of moments and I would picture myself if I had lived the Fraternity Memoirs. Don't ask me why, I just do. It seems like a Frat Castle Party Song and for some reason in my life I have romanticized the idea of Greek Life and really wish I had that to look back on (see earlier post, and for that matter more of this post). I really thank Cameron at If I do the right thing for bringing those stories to my attention. I hope Walsh is out there happy with his life... I also want to suggest you go read MadManMD's thoughts on it as well. Reading another guys reaction helped me figure out how the fuck I felt.
Okay so if you are still with me after all those links I just posted here it goes. I want an Adam figure from the stories. An older brother kind of figure who I can go to with shit, is anywhere from 3 to 10 years older than me, pushes me to work harder in all aspects of life, and behind closed doors, well we can have fun. At the same time I want to marry my girlfriend, have a family and be an awesome dad to 2.4 little kids. The American Dream, with a little cock mixed in. I know this is delusional but I am being honest here. It is also incredibly selfish. And I know that, but I don't know how to make this work in my life. I have 2 incredibly different sexual appetites and they both like to be fed.
With him, I would want him to be in charge, throw me around a little bit and tell me what to do. But not in the creepy wear a leather mask and own you kind of way... In a Big situation in a frat. I want to be able to play video games and bet a blow job on who gets the most kills in the next match (I'll lose) or who wins the next MarioKart race (I'll win) and after that I want us to be normal buds, have our wives be friends and our kids get along. But I also want him to fuck me every once and a while... no homo.... wait what....
And with her it would be the opposite, I take charge in the bedroom and love to give it to her a little fast and hard. Switch up the positions and make her toes curl up. With a guy, I hate being in charge, I guess that is why the masseuse got lucky that I just went with the flow, but I can't imagine not being the boss with my lady. Call me old fashioned.... with a 21st century twist.
Anyways I know this is delusional and incredibly selfish and so unlikely that I don't know why I entertain the thoughts but for now, I am going to pass out in my hotel room thinking about what the fuck I am going to do with my life.
Two days in a row... Not going to repeated a lot but I do plan on blogging more now. I am getting more comfortable and I am 99.9% sure none of you know who I am so what the hell why not.
Before I start. Shoot me an e-mail, I enjoy chatting and I use it to fill times in airplanes, airports, hotel rooms, and my apartment alone.
So this is a 2 pronged post and the title has two meanings. So to get started here is the song of the day:
It is from the show girls, which I have only seen a couple episodes but I wanted to talk about a scene from an episode this season. It involves a dude who is now gay having sex with a girl but can't get it up. He tries "just one or two pumps" as he says and it doesn't work out. It had me thinking about my sexual preferences and things like that. I love sex with my girlfriend, yeah it is somewhat vanilla but its always good for both of us and we know what each other likes but I also have that itch for guys. Now I have never had a problem getting it up with her, besides the few instances of being hammered beyond belief, but after dating this long I just tell her its not going to happen, or try to only get that smashed when she is on her period. (Don't stop reading this post will get back to dick by the end) But I do watch Bi porn (MMF) and gay porn more when I jerk it, I don't know what it is. Being Bi can be a struggle and I am not sure how I want to handle that moving forward... I guess I will keep listening to my body.
So on that note, I like massages. Who doesn't like a massage. I also like a good deal, so massages on groupon are my kind of thing. I have purchased a few. At the same time I had always considered looking online for a gay massage or massage from a guy at least, no funny business needed. Anyways so all of the massages I had purchased up until this January were by women. So I got a man for my most recent one and that really got me thinking about stuff. I didn't want to throw a boner during it or at least try not so I jacked off just before going and then I rinsed off and headed to my appointment. I get there and the guy is not what I would hope for in a male masseuse, I am thinking this is a win for me so that I won't cause any awkward moments. This was a work day but I had flown in earlier in the morning and spent the afternoon catching up at home so by the time I got there, the place was empty except for us ( I SWEAR this is a legit place) I just happened to be the last appointment. Normal massage, he asks me focus areas (shoulder, I carry a heavy computer bag and had been lifting that week) and we get started. 50 minutes in I am not hard nothing has been too abnormal. He tells me I need to relax more and also need to stretch as my legs are really tight (true). He then says he is going to stretch my legs so he starts doing so leg stuff raising them up and such but then he goes to stretch it by crossing my body and says he needs to move my "family jewels"... I am a little shocked but hey I am rather relaxed and say sure. So he does and there is no real reaction or anything.
He then switches to my other side and repeats all the stretches but this time doesn't ask permission to move "the jewels" he just does it. Whatever, only a little blood flowing after to cuppings and lifts. He then starts to massage my thighs and works his way higher and higher... up one side then switches back and forth. He is now grazing my nut sack quite a bit... I am laying there freaking out a little and having a debate in my head about what is going on. I don't react. He keeps this going for a few mins (seems like forever) and I am clearly reacting. He then starts massaging up closer to my dick and nudges it more than a few times. I am laying there pretty tense and unsure what to do and he just says... "You good and relaxed?" I answer " .....uh.... yeah" AND THEN BOOM. He is on my dick. So I got my first happy ending. I shot a HUGE load too, especially for having just jacked off. He had plenty of lube and I was really relaxed so that helped him out for sure.
So.... I got a happy ending and I can't believe it happened. I now have a HUGE dilemma because I didn't go seeking that out, it just happened but I have a 2 pack and I am not sure what to do about the 2nd one... it was a great orgasm though. I almost twitched off the table....
Anyways hope you guys stuck with my ramble. Not my best sex description but hey... it has been a while since I had anything juicy like that.
Alright talk to you guys
Guy Next Door...
Thinking about changing to Bro Next Door... just for shits and giggles. Not going to do it... but thinking about it. I can't say I am not going back for that second massage.
As I try and blog more I figured (well, someone asked for) a refresher in the characters in my story and what is going on in my life. You can see the comment that sparked this on my last post and I am going to try and respond to everything they asked. I have some other things to write about, including an interesting situation I had earlier this month but it has taken me this long to get comfortable with it.
As for music... I am going with a Sammy Adams song. Not sure why, I have been listening to it a lot recently. Enjoy this while you read about the characters in my life.
Me: I am still at my first job out of college but I did submit some interest letters and stuff like that at the end of last week and today. Doing alright, getting ready to take some serious steps with my GF.
Family: Shit is getting better, the divorce rocked all of us and I know that none of our relationships will be the same down the line. I am still the glue holding shit together for my family but after the holidays and planning all of it, they are going to have to get their shit together a little bit more. My dad still refuses to date online... he will get there one day. My mom is crazy and doing just fine with her new family but things have gotten better with us. My sister is still a bitch but I am hoping she grows up here soon, I give her space and time though, she had to live through it while I was out on my own and I will never know what that was like for her.
GF 2: Still the current GF. Things have gotten so much better on that front. I am ready to take it to terms where we won't be just dating and actually have a plan. I just need to figure out what that means for me and I will explain.
GF1: We still talk every once and a while but she is slightly crazy and working 2 or 3 jobs ( I can't keep track) but has no career or path she wants to follow. I can't relate to that.
RJ: He took down his blog, we are still really close. He proof read my job stuff, we talk every week. I don't want to share too much about his life but he is still the best thing to come out of this blog. We have never met but came close when I was on a business trip. We would both like to.
Super Bowl: Happy with the outcome
Blog: Not going to delete. I have a lot more to say and I think I am going to be a little more open on here. I think I need that for me.
Hope this is a good refresher on some of it. I don't even know the names I used for everyone back in the day so I can't update on other people I have written about but here is this.
Feel free to drop me a line... I would love to talk to people in similar situations.
