Thursday, February 7, 2013

What I want...

Warning: This post will be a little selfish, but also much more open. Deal with it Bro. Also do not get used to me posting 3 days in a row, I will be posting more but not everyday. I am no Bi Like Me, I don't know how that guy does it.

So to start us off I have a song. Here it is. Listen to it, because I am going to talk about it.
This song represents a ton of shit to me and I am not going to get into the over analysis of it too much but the video is also pretty interesting. To me this is something I would dance to at a bar hammered out of my mind, bumping and grinding on the dance floor or where ever I may be. It also takes me back to college and for some reason I associate it with a lot of moments and I would picture myself if I had lived the Fraternity Memoirs. Don't ask me why, I just do. It seems like a Frat Castle Party Song and for some reason in my life I have romanticized the idea of Greek Life and really wish I had that to look back on (see earlier post, and for that matter more of this post). I really thank Cameron at If I do the right thing for bringing those stories to my attention. I hope Walsh is out there happy with his life... I also want to suggest you go read MadManMD's thoughts on it as well. Reading another guys reaction helped me figure out how the fuck I felt.

Okay so if you are still with me after all those links I just posted here it goes. I want an Adam figure from the stories. An older brother kind of figure who I can go to with shit, is anywhere from 3 to 10 years older than me, pushes me to work harder in all aspects of life, and behind closed doors, well we can have fun. At the same time I want to marry my girlfriend, have a family and be an awesome dad to 2.4 little kids. The American Dream, with a little cock mixed in. I know this is delusional but I am being honest here. It is also incredibly selfish. And I know that, but I don't know how to make this work in my life. I have 2 incredibly different sexual appetites and they both like to be fed.

With him, I would want him to be in charge, throw me around a little bit and tell me what to do. But not in the creepy wear a leather mask and own you kind of way... In a Big situation in a frat. I want to be able to play video games and bet a blow job on who gets the most kills in the next match (I'll lose) or who wins the next MarioKart race (I'll win) and after that I want us to be normal buds, have our wives be friends and our kids get along. But I also want him to fuck me every once and a while... no homo.... wait what....

And with her it would be the opposite, I take charge in the bedroom and love to give it to her a little fast and hard. Switch up the positions and make her toes curl up. With a guy, I hate being in charge, I guess that is why the masseuse got lucky that I just went with the flow, but I can't imagine not being the boss with my lady. Call me old fashioned.... with a 21st century twist.  

Anyways I know this is delusional and incredibly selfish and so unlikely that I don't know why I entertain the thoughts but for now, I am going to pass out in my hotel room thinking about what the fuck I am going to do with my life.


Guy Next Door.


2 comments:

  1. GND,
    So as I mentioned in a previous comment, bi-married guy here. What you just described is not selfish man, its really what all bisexual men want. If you just wanted dick all the time, you'd be gay, pussy all the time you'd be straight. Only another bisexual person would understand your dilemma.
    For me sex with another dude is almost like a sport, and just like all sports with men, its sweaty, hot and dirty. With my wife, theres an intimacy, a delicate softness that I don't and have never had with another dude. So I get something from both that for whatever reason I can't get from just one.
    But it also comes down to relationships. Sure sex is a part of that, but its not the key. Women actually understand this alot more then men. Do you think you could have what you have with your GF, with a guy? And not talking about sex here, I'm talking mentally, spiritually, is she the one person you can't live with out?
    The big thing here is just own your life man. Except the decisions you make, and live up to the obligations and responsibilities you make. Just don't lie to yourself, marrying your GF won't suppress or change the fact that your still bisexual.
    You can be a husband, a father, a brother, a son, bisexual man and still be a good person. If that's what you really want in the "big picture" of your life.
    Anyway...great post man...not selfish at all dude.

    ~Peace man

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    Replies
    1. Hey Man,
      Thanks for the input. You seem to be in the same life I will be in. Being Bi is not exactly a dream life but we do get the best of both worlds. Other people don't know what they are missing out on. But then again we are all made different and they may not want it at all. I'm glad you are out there reading this, where ever you may be.

      Drop me a line if you want. Would be nice to hear your story if you are willing to share.

      GND

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