A reflection

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9 am Saturday:
I wake up, Liz is still asleep next to me. I watch her sleep as come to, my thoughts immediately turn to finding the glass of water I usually have next to my bed... no such luck, we finished it last night after we had drunken sex. I start to think about the end of last night, the drunnken walk home from the party, memories slip in and out but things seemed to be better. We were almost hitting on all cylinders and the troubles we had been having seemed to in the past. I get up, realize how much my head hurts as I fill my cup in the sink and empty my bladder at the same time. I get back in bed and make sure the doors are closed since Dani is asleep on the couch in the living room. I slip under the comforter and press up on Liz's back, she reacts and conforms to me and I lay there drifting off to sleep thinking about how good it is to be back in this spot, it feels like it was made for me, but my mind starts to wander as I fade back out.

 10 am Saturday:
I am now wide awake, hungry and horny. So I start to toss and turn but Liz isn't thrilled (she loves her sleep, I on the other hand am surprised I slept this late. She finally stops protesting and we talk about the party from the night before and how things went well (she thinks I may have gone a little overboard on the keg stands, but I was at a kegger and that doesn't happen all the time in the adult world so I channeled college). But back to us, we lay there mostly naked and start to kiss, it feels good to be intimate again, it had been a month between mother nature and fights so we are back. But Liz is not about to let anything happen with Dani asleep on the other side of the wall. I keep pushing the issue and she says it isn't happening, we were drunk last night so it was okay but now she is sober and she can have a hard time staying quiet sometimes ;) I suggest we both get in the shower since it is further from where she is sleeping and the water will give us some cover. She consents and I get my devilish grin that I get when I get what I want. She goes in and starts the water and gets in and I go get a glass of juice from the kitchen where it hits me what is about to happen. My grin fades but my boner doesn't so I go with it. I get in the shower and we start to get hot and heavy, after some assessing the situation we end up in doggy position and I enter her... the rhythm starts to pick up after a while and the water hitting my back starts to give us away, the tell tale sound patterns of water hitting 2 different surfaces in a succinct beat. As I get lost in sound of the water and similarities of what is happening now to early this week my mind wanders.....

9 pm Wednesday:
I am drunk in my hotel room because the gal serving wine seems to have liked me and taken pity on me for being myself with my ipad and that sympathy turned into way more than the 2 glasses per guest the poster advertised. I am on the west coast and so its time for Liz to go to sleep, she has class early in the morning. She calls and its how it has been the past few weeks, ever since we were that couple. The one standing outside the bar screaming at each other, but more on that some other time. For now we are cold and distant on the phone, it seems impossible but she further away than the hundreds of miles that actually separate us. Here is the girl I am so sure I want to spend the rest of my life with, I have a drawer full of Jewelry Store Sales peoples cards back at home and have planned out the big day. But right now she is pushing me away, we talk idly about nothing until she brings up the upcoming weekend and how she just doesn't want to spend time with my friends and she isn't in a party mood and doesn't want to come visit anymore. I halfheartedly assure her I want her there. We move on to some other topic, I am not even sure what it was but we end up fighting about nothing. We calm down but I am pissed and get off the phone angry. I am not tired and decide to go for a walk. I end up at a bar down the road I order a beer, there are 2 guys playing pool, they look to be my age but seem to be in grad school based on their backpacks and one of them in a college sweatshirt. I am just passing the time on my phone and start to notice how good looking the guy not in a hoodie is. I am pissed and now I am horny so I fire up an account I have on a male search site that I used to use to try and find an erotic massage (it was a phase, who knew I only needed a groupon to find) anyways its not something I have used in a while but I switch the city to the one I am in and turn on the GPS part to see who is around. Within minutes local creepers are doing their work. I have another beer. I move through the creepers send a few "heys" of my own out there. Nothing is happening but then I get a message from a good looking guy in his 30s who is pretty close to me. I order a whiskey on the rocks and start chatting with this guy. Normal guy, works in the area and has a place about 4 blocks from the bar I ended up in. More talking, another whiskey. "So are you going to come over?" is his message. I respond with "sure but no promises on anything except for me taking a drink." He gives me the address, I pay my tab and walk out. I head to the address and start shaking as I wait at the gate but before I can falter and change my mind, he is there, letting me in, giving me a beer, and talking to me on the couch. Talking turns to talking rubbing my leg and I respond positively. Things keep moving. And I have pushed out the rest of my life. I'll never be here again right now I am not sure I'll have anything to look forward to, so I go numb and let the physical feelings drive. We are fooling around on his bed and he asks if I want to get in the shower, I respond by walking into the bathroom naked and fumble with starting his water... drunk and his shower was complicated... but he comes to the rescue and we are soon in the shower. I stand there with water cascading down my body as he goes down on me and my mind is void of all thought, he comes up and starts kissing me and asks me what I want to do. I am not one to drive in this kind of situation so I respond by asking what he wants, he thinks for a second then reaches around, grabs my ass and says he wants to fuck me. I tell him it has been a long time and I'm not sure. But he starts to kiss on my neck and tell me he will be gentle. I consent and he goes to work on getting me ready before running to grab a condom.  Before I know it, I am propped up on the tub side as he fucks me. I never liked doggy before but I am just riding the waves of being fucked again, he starts to pick up the pace and my eyes are rolling back in my head and soon enough I am going weak in the knees and shooting all over his shower curtain and wall...

I realize I am staring at the spot on the wall I would have shot on Wednesday as Liz moans snap me back to where I am now. In my shower, with my girlfriend. After her breathing returns to normal I pull out and she turns around and helps me finish off... things seem to be much better for us but now I thinking about what I did this week. She smiles at me and tells me this was really good, better than last night even, and I smile back. I kiss her and then suggest we hurry up so that Dani doesn't wake up and come looking...



Well there it is guys. What has been on my mind. All this reading made me want to try another style of writing. I hope you enjoyed it but I do this more for me now so if you didn't you probably are not even reading this part, but if you hung on this long to complain more power to you.

GND