Monday, January 10, 2011

Can't let it go.

After a day of not moving for about 8 hours the last of my friends cleared out of my house at about 8:30 last night. We spent the day hanging out, eating, and watching TV. (I did not get to watch the Seahawk game, but I just want to say that them winning shut a lot of people up, including my friends who are Giants fans, I understand they had a losing record but divisions are divisions) Anyways I was a little stir crazy from not moving the entire day so I showered and jumped in the car to go to GF1's party. It is a little far from my house but I told her I would stop by earlier in the week when we ran into each other so as a man of my word I drove out there.

Seeing as we went to different high schools and that some of her friends go to school pretty close to home I only know about 3 people at this party when I get there. I talk to these three people and then sit down and have run out of things to do besides focus on the beer I have. People wanted to play drinking so GF1 was looking for cards and I offered to help so that I could remove myself from one large room of people I didn't really know. We go upstairs to look for them and I start to have major flash backs to that summer. I helped her look in a couple rooms but then she moves into the master bedroom and I go in but it was too weird to be back in that place with her (lot of good and a lot more bad memories of us in that room) Now I am in the mindset to think about that summer, and her, and I am drinking,  so I am just wondering where this night will lead. We start playing a game and I get to know some people at the party so things are looking a little better.

Around 11:30 a couple people show up at the party and I look up and think to myself that the guy who just walked in looks really familiar and is pretty good looking and then the light bulb clicks. This is one of the other guys from that summer (and no not one I hooked up with, one GF1 got down and dirty with) And after that I just got pissed. Something about him being there and the fact that I was not as special to her. I knew they still talked and don't have anything against him personally but he fucked my ex and I wasn't really over her. Now as I write this I start to question if I am now, she has the ability to get to me to this day and it has been over 5 years since we last dated.

I guess my issue with GF1 is I can't totally let go of the past, when I write about college you will see there are some people I have completely let go of, but for some reason she sticks with me. Alright well the song for this post came on shuffle while I was driving home from her place and I love it so enjoy the song, if you made it to the end of the post that is.

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