Yeah, I am drunk. It's Sunday.... say something. Anyways, I am headed to bed here in a min here at GF2's place but I just wanted to say that I have no idea where my life is going. I start this blog, shit hits the fan, I am figuring out a career, and my hormones, and my feelings. It can be overwhelming at times. I miss this past September where my college football team was going strong, I was having a great time at school, and didn't really have to deal with this.
I have always been a planner, and at every major juncture in life I could close my eyes and envision what I was looking for in the next chapter of my life. Going into high school I had my idea of what it would be like. Same with college, which is why I ended up where I am and not where most people expected me to go. But now I face graduation, real life, its deep stuff, and I have no real set idea of what I will be doing, where I will be living, or what my life will be like. This whole issue becoming public has really made me think about my future, but it just as murky as before. I am pissed about that, I just want to figure this shit out. I applied for 3 more jobs today along with working my ass off at my job (okay I was texting a fellow blogger a lot too, but I did work pretty hard) but I still don't even know what I want to do.
Okay enough ramble for a drunken Sunday night. All I wish is that I knew what I wanted, from a lot of things. I need to learn to not stress about the future so much, but with everything that happened this weekend all I really wanted was to get out of here and be done. I am only two weeks into the semester but a guy can dream right? I will enjoy the end of my school days, trust me, but I just wish I wasn't so fucking apprehensive about the future.
Here is a song I love by a band I found on Pandora. Have a good one guys.
Hey GND, I know exactly what you're going through as I am going through much the same right now. I was so excited to finish university but then found it really unsettling not having the structure of semesters etc. I also don't know what I want to do exactly and have found it really hard but I'm starting to feel a bit better about things now because I'm realising that it's not so important to have everything set in stone all the time. The real world is more about going with the flow and seeing what opportunities come your way and grabbing them. One thing always leads to another and just because you may start doing one thing doesn't mean you can't completely change direction later on.
ReplyDeleteHave you ever thought about maybe taking some time out after college instead of going straight to work? Maybe do some travelling? I know gap years are not as big in the US as they are here in the UK or elsewhere in the world but I went travelling for 7 months when I graduated and found it really helped just to get away from everything and get some perspective on things.
Best of luck.
ummm....i think we're on the same page. i think my posts on my blog say the same thing, haha. we'll get through it bud. keep ur head up.
ReplyDeletei can say that the real world is pretty awesome. much more freedom, independence, and ability to do whatever the hell you want.
Traveller- I just spent a lot of time traveling and while I wish I could do that right now it just isn't a financial reality. I want to go to grad school in a few years and when I do I plan on taking a break to travel as well. Good luck finding your direction man.
ReplyDeleteBlurred- I am looking forward to the freedom, I just wish I knew what I was going to be doing the rest of the time. Keep your head up as well, things could be way worse for both of us.