I am sitting here getting ready for work and a lot has happened this weekend so I wanted to update you all. I am dealing with this better than I thought but I am still mad at myself and others. It is hard because GF2 deals with this pretty well but when it gets dragged out again she always gets upset (translate to I don't get any. Seriously thought how can I be thinking about that at a time like this, blame it on my age)
Now that this has all happened and I am using this blog as an outlet I feel like I need to get my college years story out there so you guys can understand. I will do that this week, but for now I will just talk about people as if you know who they are. So after dealing with my situation with my best friend, I will call her Emily from now on, and getting really worked up Friday I got a lot of support from people. It was really nice to have people reach out to me. And I was feeling a little better and just got drunk and had a good time like nothing was bothering me. Got up the next morning and headed to work and low and behold who walks into where I work, BF1, who will now be named Jake. Jake comes in with his friends and I do not speak to him any more (long story, which one day I will write) so I avoid him and after finishing what I was doing I go to the back room and tell my co workers I just need a minute, they didn't question me but the person I am closest with could tell something was bothering me but I played it off. That got me all worked up but I was texting a friend who I can talk to about all this and he calmed me down.
After that I was really looking forward to getting out of work and heading to the couple birthday parties I had last night. There is another story here about how GF2 and then a girl I used to work with do not get along, call her Jen, but Jen and I are really close and I take care of her like a big brother so that gets difficult. Anyways I go see Jen and end up taking her home and putting her in bed because she can't stand up and we almost end up making out. A few artful head dodges is all that saved me. ( I just decided I am going to write a post about all these people so I can sort out how I feel about them, I never realized I had so much to say till I started writing a blog).
Anyways the big event last night was I finally had an open and honest conversation about how I feel with my closest roommate. He was totally supportive and we talked about a lot of things in my life and what is going on. We also talked about my other roommate who apparently has been telling anyone who asked, this is somewhat my fault but in the end is none of his business. He found out through a rare sequence of events and was the only friend who knew for a long time. But apparently the only conversation we ever had about it where I said I would talk about it when I am ready and for him to respect that and keep it to himself didn't set it. He tries to be caring and over break even sent me a facebook message about it, but after I found out he told the world, including people I do not like or need in my business I can barely stand to be in the same room with him.
Okay enough of this, I need to shower. So some things are looking up and I have had my first real conversation about it with one of my guy friends so that was a success. Everyone keeps pointing out that they have not treated me any different and I have great friends because they are all so accepting, and while this is true I am still pissed as hell about how this all went down and wish my business had stayed my business had stayed my business till I was ready.
quick edit- Go Packers. I can't watch the game but I hate the bears so I will be checking the score on my phone.
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