The summer before college

I want to start this post by saying I am not looking forward to going back to real life and school next week. Over break I have been going out every night with friends staying out till about one then I come home and dick around on the internet till about two, pass out and wake up around 10 or 11. More internet till I finally get up around noon and start my day. Once school starts I will be done with my first class at the time I have been getting up. Then throw work into the mix I am fucking busy. I will still have time for fun and I will for sure be making time to blog.

Anyways enough bitching about me going back to real life. But this is my last break ever really because I will graduate and hopefully be employed starting shortly after. To talk about this summer I first have to talk about how I picked my college, of the nine of us in my friendship group, six of us got into the same school and could have had a boy meets world situation going on where we all went together. This did not happen and I am glad it didn't because I still really enjoy my friends from high school, I am extremely close with them and this break has reaffirmed that they will be my best friends for a long time. (Man do I ramble sometimes) Anyways all of us ended up scattering around the country and I went to a school without anyone I really knew. I sort of knew a couple people on campus before hand and I hung out with them when I got there but I really made my own friends. Okay I am getting ahead of myself this is supposed to be the summer before college.

So I know that I am headed off to college in two months without anyone from home so this summer goes a little crazy. It starts with a huge party week at the beach, hence the guy I put on here. And I had actually forgotten this till I started writing but vacation buddy came back for that week because he knew a ton of people and he wasn't in my house but we met one night and got off on some back road in my car. (It's amazing what this blog is bringing to the front of my mind) I also fooled around with the girl of "my dreams" that same week. I had known Dream Girl as I will refer to her since elementary school and by high school there was a little tension there but nothing ever happened till we drank a bottle of liquor and rolled around on her bed in the house and just fooled around a little bit. It wasn't till we got back that we had sex in the back seat of my car.  (My car has seen a lot of action) I have not seen her in years but I still think about her a lot, not sure why, we never dated and only hooked up those two times but she was "that girl" growing up and I guess I was infatuated with her and still am a little bit.

After I got back from the beach my summer took off, I was working part time and hanging out with my friends and then GF1 and started hanging out again. She was having almost weekly house parties and I would show up later in the night, she would be drunk, I would pound shots, we would hook up, get in a fight and I would end up sleeping in the basement or leaving. We still look back to that summer and wonder what the fuck was going on, if only people knew.

This was also the summer I found craigslist and during that summer I had better luck on there than I ever have. I met two different guys. The first we will call Tim. Tim had just moved here after graduating from College and was what I look for in a guy. Totally masculine, cool, easy to talk to, a little more built, and a little older. That has always been what i found attractive in a guy, a nice body and a few years on me. Anyways we started talking and I went up to the hotel he was staying at till he found a place and we hung out for a few hours until we finally fooled around for hours as well. He was the first guy I showered with, and if a guy has a nice body seeing those muscles wet is fucking awesome for me. Well the next week or so I went back and this time it sucked... he acted like fooling around with me and then fucking me was a favor and afterward told me to shower and hit the road. So that was that with Tim.

The next guy we will call Charlie. Charlie was closer to my age but was going to school and working at the same time and had a baller place in the city. He brought me over and we hung out there once, then we ended up getting hotel rooms two times to hang out. But he had some serious guilt issues and we stopped talking. He deleted me on facebook a few months ago, I only know cause I liked his job and would check up on him every once and a while but he was just a cool guy I could kick back with. (Sidenote here but it is really bothering me, I am listening to today's hits on pandora and it keeps playing christmas songs every once and a while. WTF. its January. Sorry had to get that out)

There were a couple other hook ups, both guy and girl. I went a little crazy. The first thing I did when I got to school was get tested, clean bill of health but cant be too safe. I always play safe but you get scared. The big things from this summer was I realized GF1 and I would not be ending up together, she is a great girl and I saw her last night when I was out with my friends but still she is a little much for me to handle at times. One thing I did battle with this summer was the guilt feeling after hanging out with a guy. I would get in my car to drive home and be overcome with a huge amount of guilt and disgust. Wish I had blogged back then to help deal with it. But I overcame it and had a good summer overall. I look back and feel like a huge man whore that summer because of what I was willing to do both with GF1 and others to get off but hey they call it growing up for a reason. Anyways this was again a rather long post. College is going to be broken up. I hope I find some time to do it, this has been like a cleanse. Yesterday I was out driving and actually drove by the hotel where Tim and I hung out and that is saying something cause its about 45 mins away and all I could think about was coming home and starting this post.

Okay last but not least is the song of that summer. This was a hard one, I got my laptop for college that summer and I looked through my itunes to figure out what I was listening to then and ended up with this song.